The REAL Story Of Ninja Gaiden II
by Jammin Saladtard
Summary: If I ever made this game, this is how it would be.
1. Mommy, I have something in my eye

I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING. Except for the plotline.

"...So...you don't know where I could find Ryu Hayabusa...?" Sonia asked. "Who is she?" Ayane whispered to Muramasa. "I hear she's a government agent." Muramusa answered. "You still didn't answer my question." Sonia grumbled. Outside, a couple of Black Spider Clan Ninja's were about to break through the door. They held another ninja in their hands, about to ram him into there. "1...2..." A mouse crawled along the floor, alarmed Sonia got up. A black spider ninja came in, crashing through the wall and rolling on the floor. "Oh crap! That hurt!" He yelled as he went across the floor. He ran into Muramasa's ladder, causing him to fall on the floor. "Oof!" Muramasa yelled as he hit his head. "Did anyone teach him how to use a door?" Ayane joked.

Sonia immediatley drawed out her pistol, firing at the ninja. "Pfft, you actually use guns." Ayane chuckled. The ninja had his guts blown out of his chest. Sonia stepped outside, checking for anymore, she got whipped by a chain and taken down. The ninja put his foot on Sonia, and held his claw up getting ready to stab her. There were 2 other ninja aiding the Black Spider Ninja. Suddenly, a ninja star flew out of nowhere and hit the ninja in the face, killing him. Ryu appeared, stabbing the both of them. Disturbed, Ayane stepped outside to see what was going on. Only to have a gush of blood splash on her face from Ryu's ass kicking. "Oh! That is disgraceful!" She yelled in disgust.

"Speak for yourself." Sonia spat out. Ryu was about to untie Sonia, but a ninja star flew towards him. Instead of dodging it however, he got hit in the eye. "OH DEAR GOD! I'LL BE LIKE IN METAL GEAR SOLID 3! CRAP!" He yelled. "...Idiot." One ninja whispered, as he kidnapped Sonia. "I have the woman." He signaled the other ninjas. "I suspected more of you. Ryu Hayabusa..." He took off into the sky, or some other ninja crap. "Son of a bitch! My eye!" Ryu yelled. He fell over the railing, falling on his head. "Dammit!" He called out in pain.

The Next Day...

Ryu was knocked out after he fell off the railing. Standing above him was Ayane. "Wake up idiot." She said coldly. "I had to get CLOROX, to get this stain out of my eyes." "Sucks for you." Ayane smacked Ryu on his bad eye. "OW!" "I saw that they carried her away from Muramasa's shop." Ayane looked around "Lucky you. You could actually see. Which is strange because your supposed to be a supporting character." Ryu joked. "Shut up!" Ayane yelled out. Ayane had worked with Muramasa for a decent wage. It was a pain, but it was the only job she could find. "Want to go on a adventure?" Ryu asked. "Sure." Ayane agreed. "Alright then...now if I could only find your brother..." Ryu put his hand over his eye, and pulled the shuriken out. "SON OF A BITCH! It was better off left in!" Ryu shouted. "I think he's at home." Ayane answered, jumping on the rooftops and landing infront of Hayate's house. Ryu tried to do the same, but his eye was a little off and he mistepped, and fell on the ground. "Oof! My arm!" He yelled, once again in pain. Hayate looked outside, hearing the noise. "Hey! Wanna' go on a adventure?" Ayane asked. "Where are we going?" Hayate asked. He was still in his PJ's, camouflauge colored. "We're going to go kill off the Black Spider Clan!" Ryu shouted out. "Those sons of bitches?! They stole my TiVO! Time to kill those mofo's!" Hayate yelled, as he grabbed his Katana and his ninja get-up. "What the hell did he just say?"

"Alright, now I got to go get permission from my father to go on a adventure." Ayane peered through her door. Her father was reading a newspaper. "...Genra-San?" Hayate greeted. "WHAT?!" He threw a couple of knives at the door. "Woah! Relax!" Ayane yelled. "Oh. It's just you three." His eyes were a little bloodshot, he had a cup of coffee that had "I Heart New York" Crossed out, and it had "I Love My Butterfly" above it, bunny slippers, and still had his house robe on. Ryu was snickering, but Ayane punched him in the mouth. "Dad? Could I go on a adventure?" Ayane asked. "As long as you don't do any pot." He smiled.

Outside of the village...

They were all walking through a forest. "So, when are we getting there?" Hayate had asked, for the 35th time. "FOR THE LOVE OF COW SHIT, SHUT THE HELL UP HAYATE." Ayane yelled. The trees started rustling. They all looked up, only to see two people fighting. "Your dead Kasumi!" A voice called out. "Kasumi-Chan?" Ayane whispered. Kasumi fell out of the tree, hitting her head on another branch. "Ow!" She looked towards the trio. "..." "..." "..." "..." They all stayed silent. "Sister?" Hayate was confused. A blonde haired woman dropped from the trees. Ryu recognized her. "Rachel..." He whispered. Rachel, hearing this, turned around and saw him. "Ryu?" She landed on a branch, immediatley forgetting her fight with Kasumi. She walked over to Ryu, rubbing on him. "Mmm...your such a strong man." Hearing this, Kasumi got up, smacking Rachel. "Get your hands off of him!" She yelled, as she dived onto her and punching her. Ayane, smacking her head, kept whispering to herself. "I hate my life...I hate my life...I hate my life..." Hayate just looked on. "Dude, who would you tap?" Hayate asked Ryu. "All three of them." Ryu laughed. "This adventure's never going to end good..." Ayane whispered once more.


	2. The Quest For Hayate's TiVO!

I do NOT own anything.

The TRUE Story Of Ninja Gaiden II Chapter II

"Orange haired ho!" "Blonde haired bitch!" "Auburn piece of shit!" "Golden hag!" "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Ayane yelled at the both of them. They both froze, due to Ayane's itimidation. "Look, do you want to join us on our adventure, or not?" Ayane hissed. They both raised their hands. "Alright then. Now...I think we lost trail..." Ayane muttered. Hayate looked at his map. "Yep..." He whispered. Everyone stayed silent. "Hayate, where did you get that map?" Ryu asked. "Mapquest." Hayate answered. "...Fuck." They both said at the same time. "Well, at any rate, we might be able to run into something." Ayane tried not to cut her own head off.

After much arguing, cursing, fighting, and forgetting, they all ran into a KFC in the middle of the forest.

"Who the hell puts a KFC in the middle of the forest?" Ayane asked. "..." Kasumi raised her hand. "Wait, so your telling me that you built a KFC in the middle of a forest?" Ayane asked. "Well, yeah! I needed money anyways, and you guys kicked me out so I couldn't open it in your village." Kasumi explained. "And how many people knew this?" Rachel asked. Ryu raised his hand. "Ryu?!" Hayate yelled in confusion. "Well hey! Who said I didn't take strolls out of the village?" Ryu explained. Everyone stared at him, with there jaws dropped down.

In the KFC...

"Can somebody please tell me what are we doing here?" Ayane asked. "Well, I don't know, but this chicken is damn good." Hayate complimented. "Nii-san, don't talk with your mouthful." Kasumi warned. "...Okay." Hayate gave in. "Can we please get out of here?" Rachel asked, in a rather threatening voice.

Back on the trail...

"Dammit! We've been walking around for hours, but no signs of lif-" Ayane was cut off, by Ryu turning her head over to village. "...Score." She stared at the village. It was named Urmotheritis. "Who the hell names a village Urmotheritis?" Hayate started to get angry when he figured out he had a new village to compete with. "Ha ha! I get it now! Ur-Mother-Ritis!" Kasumi yelled playfully. "What does that mean?" Rachel asked. "I think it means you actually think your mother jokes are funny. Hence why it's called Ur-Mother-Ritis." Ryu explained. They all started walking towards the village. What they didn't know however, was that the village was invaded by Black Spider Clan ninjas.

In the village...

They stopped in their tracks when a Black Spider Ninja dropped from the sky. "Ah...Ryu Hayabusa and the Wonder Squad." He insulted. Ayane started to have a PMS. "WONDER SQUAD?! DO YOU HONESTLY THINK THAT YOU CAN TREAT ME LIKE A SIDE CHARACTER AND GET AWAY WITH IT?!" She yelled. "Yeah." The Black Spider Ninja laughed. More Black Spider Clan ninja jumped out of the sky, landing behind him. "...Dickwads..." Ayane pulled out her katana, running towards the Black Spider Ninja. She cut through one, swinging her blade in order to get her katana out of the ninja, and then cutting another one. One jumped towards Ayane with a explosive bomb. She sidestepped, and then it landed on another Black Spider Ninja, causing it to explode. Blood was flying everywhere. Two Black Spider Clan ninjas ran towards her, as she jumped into the air. They both stabbed each other as she dodged, and landed on their heads. She ran towards the last one, cutting through his stomach and kicking him down on the ground. "Uh Ayane...why not take a rest?" Hayate suggested. "Good idea." Ayane walked into a random house. "It isn't pretty when she has a PM-" "Get the fuck out of here!" Ayane's voice called out, as she threw the house owners through the window.


End file.
